Saturday, May 3, 2008

the Backseat

Is this how it's going to be?
Sleepless nights, tossing and turning
I hardly slept last night
And now tonight
Wondering about your safety
Startled awake by my phone
Drifting asleep
Awakened by "what ifs"
And "to do" lists
And the pool ball that keeps hitting the floor in the hall
Celebratory shouts of students in the quad
Classes are over
Their last weekend together
And then there is the drunken stupor of those outside
Stumbling from the bar across the street
Slamming car doors shut
Leaving Miller High Life cans on my back doorstep
For maintenance to clean up in the morning

Awake,
My covers kicked off
My Mary Chair beckoned to me
With a blanket and two pillows
I prayed
I cried out for trust
And surrendered
And apologized for sitting in the driver's seat
Now I sit
Try to sit
Do my best to sit
In the backseat
Without a steering wheel
Seatbelt fastened
Asking if we're there yet.

2 comments:

Robby said...

Wow! I don't know what else to say. This post was incredible. I love your imagery. I love the honesty with which you convey your thoughts. To be honest, at first I thought this was a song. Then I caught the reference to the pool ball, the quad, renne's. Nope...its just your life 8-)

Why is that we consistently jump in the driver's seat as if we know where we are headed? Or that we have the ability to actually drive at all?

Thanks for sharing!

Jen Rider said...

we are not there yet, but we are close...