Monday, July 9, 2007

Shocking!

I'm celebrating my one month anniversary of life in the USA!

The first couple of weeks I found myself in a state of euphoria; everything was so wonderful. A soak in the hot tub, a haircut, blended coffee drinks, cell phone land, green trees and green grass....hot weather (yes, I am loving it!)

These things are still wonderful and I'm seeking the balance between an attitude of thankfulness for what I have and the awareness and ache for those who have not.

The euphoria stage has long gone. Culture shock, accompanied by transition shock, show their intensity like this 100+ degree heat.

Trying to catch up has been difficult. I'm different and my friends are different. Life happened and continues to happen.

I don't feel angry or frustrated, just SAD.
lonely.
I'm missing that which was part of my daily routine in Bolivia.
the simplicity.
incarnational living.
speaking Spanish.

A huge Hispanic family-gathering was happening right next to our 4th of July potluck at the park. I walked by them and lingered in the Spanish words, almost feeling more at home around this group of strangers than with my former classmates.

I watched Oprah - the topic was "stuff" - how clutter is ruining lives - the need for more and the hesitancy to give things away. I usually don't watch Oprah, yet this particular episode intrigued me, affirming the extreme separation between the American life with that of life in El Alto, Bolivia.

Sharing at church yesterday refreshed my Bolivia experiences. I spoke about my visit to the brothels, reading my blog entry for the first time since I posted it. Emotion flooded my speech. Every time I share, my body trembles.

A friend recently encouraged me with the reminder that through my stages of instability and uncertainty, Jesus Christ remains the SAME: yesterday, today, and forever.