Monday, July 9, 2007

Shocking!

I'm celebrating my one month anniversary of life in the USA!

The first couple of weeks I found myself in a state of euphoria; everything was so wonderful. A soak in the hot tub, a haircut, blended coffee drinks, cell phone land, green trees and green grass....hot weather (yes, I am loving it!)

These things are still wonderful and I'm seeking the balance between an attitude of thankfulness for what I have and the awareness and ache for those who have not.

The euphoria stage has long gone. Culture shock, accompanied by transition shock, show their intensity like this 100+ degree heat.

Trying to catch up has been difficult. I'm different and my friends are different. Life happened and continues to happen.

I don't feel angry or frustrated, just SAD.
lonely.
I'm missing that which was part of my daily routine in Bolivia.
the simplicity.
incarnational living.
speaking Spanish.

A huge Hispanic family-gathering was happening right next to our 4th of July potluck at the park. I walked by them and lingered in the Spanish words, almost feeling more at home around this group of strangers than with my former classmates.

I watched Oprah - the topic was "stuff" - how clutter is ruining lives - the need for more and the hesitancy to give things away. I usually don't watch Oprah, yet this particular episode intrigued me, affirming the extreme separation between the American life with that of life in El Alto, Bolivia.

Sharing at church yesterday refreshed my Bolivia experiences. I spoke about my visit to the brothels, reading my blog entry for the first time since I posted it. Emotion flooded my speech. Every time I share, my body trembles.

A friend recently encouraged me with the reminder that through my stages of instability and uncertainty, Jesus Christ remains the SAME: yesterday, today, and forever.

2 comments:

Amy said...

Estoy feliz que eres escribiando en este 'blog'. Te extrano mucho. Hasta luego!

me said...

El,
I read over some of your thoughts tonight, and my eyes filled up with tears I couldn't control, reading about a place I've never had a second thought about...but somehow, in your words and travels...you have connected me to a thousand memories like yours, people whose faces I see when i close my eyes at night and stories that are hard to tell to friends I've had forever.
I thought about you a lot while you were in Bolivia...and wondered how things are since you've been back.
It's never easy, re-entering this place, eh?
I like you a lot, and your thoughts were what I needed tonight. Thanks!

~bethany