In this frustrating state of "blogging perfection" I'm currently in, I couldn't seem to think of the "perfect" title for this entry. I'm sporting my NCC bright yellow t-shirt with the phrase "Get Your Beac-On" in honor of Beacon Madness which happened tonight. And so, I settled with this screen-printed phrase...
I'm definitely getting my Beac-On here (we are the Beacons, in case you didn't catch that, and instead of getting our freak on, we're getting our beac-on). It's easy to feel discouraged when I think about all the people I don't know yet considering the semester is already halfway over. I attended a retention task force meeting and was so bummed out by how many students have chosen to discontinue their education at NCC before graduation. The numbers are bleak... The budget has been drastically cut. A second RA resigned last week. I spent a huge amount of money on moving expenses.
Impromptu karaoke down the hall finally ended at 11pm last night and a huge pep rally which started at 10pm tonight, were both preceded by 6:30AM meetings. I'm tuckered out.
I just need to write. It's therapeutic to spill my guts and know someone is reading. I've neglected my updates lately due to sheer exhaustion and also the concept of perfection. I've tried to write several times, yet sleep prevails because I end up staring at the computer screen in front of me. The partially-constructed sentences just haven't been conveying what I wish to share. I want to tell my stories in a colorful way that will prompt you to ask questions, to pray for me, and ask for more. But, If I keep cutting and pasting my thoughts in this little section to make it 'perfect,' I won't ever post a thing...
My refrigerator gurgles, the heat vent rattles, traffic roars by, karaoke blasts down the hall, and trains toot their horns. Strangely enough, these aren't the sounds that keep me awake at night or prematurely wake me up in the morning. It's the other things I'm hearing at NCC. The things my ears and heart pick up during 1 on 1s with RAs. Some of it is even what they aren't saying.
I'm lighthearted, though, and my energy level is somehow replenished each night even without an adequate amount of sleep. The conversations I'm having remind me of why I'm here and spur me on to speak more Truth, seek out residents, and confidently testify about what God has done and continues to do in my life. I'm decorating my apartment, laughing a TON (what's not funny about karaoke?) and having amazing coffee dates with students who blow me away with their level of maturity.
I promise to post more specific stories soon -- they are just too thought-provoking for this sleep-deprived mind. :)
4 comments:
I am reading. And thinking. And I know what you mean about writing...lol. So at times I just write whatever, and usually I end up saying what needs to be said. I think you are doing great.
Peace,
D
love you :)
you've got guts. do you have anyone you can tag team with so you can get a break now and then? don't worry about blogging. it's always nice to hear what's going on in your neck of the woods, but if it's a choice between sleep and blogging... always choose blogging... i mean always choose sleep :) i've also found that having a fan on in the room provides some static noise that helps me sleep... maybe that would help you.
El, Get you beac-on :) I like it... I'm going to give you a call and see if I can't catch you. I know you have a great ability to listen to not only a person's voice but their heart. And remember, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, NOTHING is ever perfect. You and your writing don't have to be. Just be. I send hugs...and check out Quinn's hat on my blog :)
Love, Meredith
Post a Comment