What first made me anxious is now bringing me peace - the concept of irrelevance.
¨If you don´t go all the way with me, through thick and thin, you don´t deserve me. If your first concern is to look after yourself, you´ll never find yourself. But if you forget about yourself and look to me, you´ll find both yourself and me. We are intimately linked in this harvest work. Anyone who accepts what you do, accepts me, the One who sent you. Anyone who accepts what I do accepts my Father, who sent me. Accepting someone´s help is as good as giving someone help. This is a large work I´ve called you into, but don´t be overwhelmed by it. It´s best to start small. Give a cool cup of water to someone who is thirsty, for instance. The smallest act of giving or receiving makes you a true apprentice. You won´t lose out on a thing.¨ (The Message version of Matthew 10:38-42)
I have things to give because of who Christ is in me. When I focus myself on Jesus, my gifts change shape and take on different forms, appearing in ways I never would have expected.
It´s not that my gifts are all-together irrelevant.
I´m not missing out by not offering what I thought I came here to offer, and neither are the people here. My creativity is showing its face in different ways. I didn´t think I´d be giving haircuts, and I am. I thought my singing would be used to lead worship, but instead it´s on Saturday nights, learning Spanish praise songs with my B-family who like to hear me sing and ask me to sing the ABCs and Britney Spears.
More importantly than wondering if my presence here is relevant to anyone except myself, is surrendering myself to the hands of my Creator, who is more creative than I. How He uses me IS relevant.
This song by Mike Hohnholtz played while I was reading Matthew. His words are my prayer. You´ll recognize my additions in parenthesis. :)
Lord, I surrender my hopes and my dreams (and my gifts) to a calling thats greater than all of these things - to live my life for the glory of God and the purpose You`ve placed in the depths of my heart
Here am I (in El Alto) oh, Lord. I am completely yours. Mold me and make me - Jesus come shape me. I lay my life down to follow you.
My heart was formed by the maker of all - the object of love by the hands of my God - fashioned before the foundations of earth - in His care before the time of my birth.
Nothing compares to You, my King - so my life I bring...
1 comment:
"your deeds have already been written in God's book." that's always been sort of a strange verse for me. but also a cool one.
God has prepared you in some way for everything you have encountered. that seems so sweet to me. i think you must have a pretty big book in heaven's library. i'll probably check it out one day... probably have to put a several thousand year reserve on it though. :)
i pray you continue to take joy in doing the deeds that have already been written about.
grace and peace.
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