Friday, April 20, 2007

The blues and boys

The blues have nothing to do with boys... just thought I´d clear that up.

The ¨end-of-the-month¨ blues hit me unexpectedly - I found myself being especially introspective and quiet. I´ve been here for 2 months. When my mom asked me how it felt, I said ¨It feels long.¨ 8 weeks eternity!

Those were my thoughts last week. I think they surfaced due to various uncertainties about the role of the Servant Team here in the midst of so many unknowns about WMF Bolivia itself. The loss of La Casa de Esperanza has been difficult to process. We´re losing a stable place for the women to come to as well as employment for a few women who have escaped prostitution. The future of our ministry with the women is up in the air. We are short-staffed, confused, sad... and expectant.

The ¨blues¨ have passed, and now I´m feeling especially anticipatory. Encouraging emails and various verses have given me a boost for what I have yet to offer and receive from El Alto. Jesus is telling me to STAY. He´s not done with me yet, and I feel butterflies for the time I have left (which doesn´t discount my recurring homesick-pangs). It´s an honor to be here and discover Christ among the people. I´m excited for what is ahead - both here, and at home. Although I don´t have a job lined up yet, I´ve felt a surge of purpose for returning back to the USA, and the intrigue and suspense keep me on my toes.

The two boys are back, and I have yet to purchase them shoes. I´m wondering if shoes are what they really need. I´m kicking myself for leaving the stickers in my other bag - I never want to leave home without them again. They´ve been twirling in the computer chairs next to me for the past 20 minutes, so I struck up a conversation with them. The youngest one with dirt all over his green corduroy pants, dust spots on his face, and expressive brown eyes, keeps saying ¨let´s go buy something.¨ He´s expressed a craving for cereal, yet again. I think I understood that his dad died a few years ago and his mom is out of town for the day. I feel tension...not knowing exactly how to help, and reminded of Jesus´ words...¨when I was hungry...¨

1 comment:

ryanmortinson said...

you continue to encourage me with your stories of compassion. it makes me look for more opportunities in my own piece of the world.

i pray for those little boys.

i pray for those women. for their freedom.

i pray for those men. for their freedom.

i pray for your families.

i pray for your team.

God says if i pester him enough than he'll answer.

You are helping to feed a spiritual hunger. and the "food" you are giving away will satisfy forever.