Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Something IS happening

Since getting married, I find myself more preoccupied with money than ever before. Perhaps it's because I'm unemployed, paying more bills, combining bank accounts, tracking our expenditures, working with the homeless in San Francisco, and planning for/raising money for Thailand in August.

I came across Francis Chan's video blog (I'm reading "Crazy Love" as we speak) and was so moved by his comments on a video of his wife holding an abandoned, premature baby.



"Why is my life more valuable than this baby's? Someone asked me recently why I don't save money for emergencies, or retirement. My answer was how can I justify saving for myself "just in case" something happens to me when something IS happening to so many already. 29,000 kids will die today of preventable causes. If I'm to love my neighbor AS myself, why spend so much time worrying about me?"

And once again, I find myself living in tension.

4 comments:

Amy Wolff said...

Well you know me- I typically find myself in that tension too. But when it comes to saving, I will always prioritize my family- because I feel like it's responsible and God given that I provide opportunity and security for them. So no tension for me in this realm. Now about the newer car I want... TENSION! :)

shinelight said...

I can't believe you just posted about this, I have been struggling with this lately. Like Amy mentioned, I am trying to find a balance (if there is such a thing) of being selfless and giving all I have, but also being 'responsible' to provide and prepare for our four kids. One thing that struck me when I went to Nicaragua was that the people in the village we went to had so little, but they gave so much. They shared meals with us. They gave out of their poverty. Being back home, giving out of my poverty may look a little different, but it's there. It can be the 'little time we have' in our days, giving tangible resources, making meals for people, offering financial support...the list goes on. I also don't want that to become an excuse to hoard money just so I feel 'secure' when it could do so much good. I think I have felt the closest to God in those times that I didn't feel secure, when I felt I had nothing. Every time, no matter what, He provided.

I realize I just added a lot of my thoughts and it probably didn't help at all...but I'm right there with you. :)

It's good when we feel the tension or uneasiness, I get nervous when things seem fine or too easy. ;)

Mattanda said...

Hey "sista"! I love your blog's facelift! What about "Paulizabeth" ;) I too find myself in this same tension, and then I think about Proverbs 22:7 "...the borrower is slave to the lender". If I can hare my thoughts...I do agree with Francis Chan, "how can I justify saving for myself 'just in case' something happens to me when something IS happening to so many already?", however I feel it is my responsibility to take care of my family (to be:) first. If I don't take care of myself emotionally, physically, and financially will I truly be able to help others in the same manner? I could talk about this all day, so I'll stop now :)

Hope you don't mind me sharing my thoughts.

Beth said...

This is rough! Balance seems to be the key (or is it?)...keeping my heart focused on God and continually praying for his wisdom and perspective through these tensions - easier said than done. This post seems especially appropriate given the recent disaster in Haiti! Thanks for your thoughts, El! I love reading your posts.

On a lighter note, your blog looks beautiful. The picture of you two at the top reminded me of a movie poster...so very perfect! It looks like you had an incredible photographer!!