Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Confessions of a Youth Pastor's Wife

Sometimes, I'm fine.
Other times, it hurts.

It feels as though there is a stigma associated with being in ministry.  "I'm a youth pastor's wife, and therefore our life is so full I couldn't possibly have time for anything else."

From the checkout aisle at Fred Meyer: "Paul... now he's a busy man."  And a number of other comments wrapped up in this one: "Gosh, we've hardly seen you, you guys are so busy."

Yes, there are moments of insanity when we we crash on the couch after a long day/evening/week/weekend and are thankful for nothing to do because home feels.so.good.  Our summer was full.  Admittedly, we were gone a lot.

June 5: We opened a coffee shop at cafe that I've been managing
June 16-18: Trip to Grants Pass for my dad's 60th surprise party
June 27-July 1: Vacation Bible School
June 27-July 5: Fireworks booths (two stands)
July 6-July 10: Wedding in Santa Barbara
July 17-23: Mayfield Lake Youth Camp
July 28-30: Our escape to Ilwaco
August 1-5: Kids' Camp
August 6: Wedding
August 8: Youth Group trip to Wild Waves
August 10: Youth Group Bonfire
August 13: Wedding
August 18: Youth Group homeless outreach in Portland with Night Strike
August 20: Wedding
August 24: Senior Girls/Freshmen Girls bonfire
August 26-28: Family Camp
September 2-5: Labor Day camping trip with our college group

Summer happened!  ...and you know what?  We live to tell about it!  And the truth is, I had time in between all those things... to BE, to meet up with college girlfriends in Vancouver (you know who you are), to meet halfway to be with family, etc.  I also had lonely moments - sounds rather strange after reviewing our calendar.  There were honestly times where I wished a friend would call and invite me to do something outside of anything church-related.  Times where I wished I had girlfriends here who really know me.  To whisk me away...

The week of the fireworks booth, I spent a lot of time to myself.  Paul was working a lot, and I think the assumption was that I was working, too.  In reality, I walked to the lake twice by myself just to get out of the house because I had nothing to do.  Sometimes, on an evening when Paul is gone, my first thought is to call a high school girl, since they are the ones inviting me to hang out - wanting to go out for coffee and want to come over for breakfast in the morning. 

I spend my days with a 4 year old, Sunday evenings with college students, Wednesday nights with high school students, etc.  I love them.  And what I really crave are friends my own age, and my attempts at getting together have often failed.

I, too, am also guilty of wrongfully assuming things about people's time and have recently been convicted about just that.  I often assume that when my friends have children, they can't do things spontaneously, or come over for dinner for fear of interrupting the night-time routine.  

This entry isn't meant to guilt-trip anyone.  

It's simply the confession of a Youth Pastor's wife doing her best to create a social life while balancing married life, youth group, college group, church, cooking and work.  
And someday, children. :)


Anonymous said...

Well said, dear Daughter. I hear your heart.
Loving you and praying for you,

Amy Wolff said...

Glad you're sharing what's been on your mind. Oh how I wish I could whisk you away. I'd come early... when you're still in bed... I make you grab coffee with me in your pj's. (I'd be in mine too). Then we get ready and go on a private jet... fly to Aruba. Get a good tan. Drink some lovely blended drinks (non alcoholic incase of babies in the womb. who knows), would dance to island music, fly back (the private jet as a soft serve machine and we sprinkle gummy bears on top. Tyler is our flight attendant and we demand Fanta from him). Then we arrive home in time for you and I to meet our hubbies and family for pizza. We hug goodbye and I drive 5 minutes home.

Right!?!?!?! :)

I sure love you.

About Me said...

I completely understand Sistaw, and I think we should try to spend more of our free time hanging out together! Next time Paul is busy, call me and we'll meet halfway :)