I remember the first time I ever looked for a real job.
March 2006:
I was a senior at George Fox with "what next?" ringing in my ears. The day before I flew down to San Francisco to interview for a ministry-related job, I was offered the job as the On-Site Director at Tilikum. Within 2 days, I had 2 incredible job offers, and one was for a job I didn't even apply for.
Fast forward to June 2007:
Fresh from Boliva, the all-too-familiar "what next" rang in my ears again. This time, with just enough in my bank account to cover a few month's rent while I looked for a job. I spent hours searching Craig's list and applying for non-profits in the Portland area. (My thoughts from August '07 are not too far off from what I'm thinking now.) Not expecting to get my dream job until the following year when the Higher-Ed application cycle would begin again, I heard about an opening at NCU. I got turned down for a job I thought I was perfect for just in time to interview for the Area Residence Coordinator position. Call me crazy, but 2 weeks later, I moved back into a college dorm and took the job.
July 1, 2009:
I left my stable, good-paying job and rent-free apartment to begin life in Longview, or "El-Town." While not living my dream job because I simply don't have a job, I am living the dream because I'm married to Paul.
Yet, I'm unemployed, and have been for almost 8 1/2 months. I am constantly checking websites for jobs with the city, county, school, community college, etc. I've scoured the newspaper classifieds and craigslist.
And nothing toots my horn. Nothing, that is, except for the current job postings at both Northwest Christian & George Fox... Area Coordinator (GFU) & Area Residence Coordinator (NCU).
I've read the job descriptions over and over again, even tearing up.
My dream job and the job I left.
Everything I would love to do and get paid to do it.
I've been a barista and a waitress, and then I graduated from college and entered the professional world and I don't want to go back behind the counter.
I know what I love to do and have a good idea of what I'm good at.
I'm picky and don't want to settle for just any job, even though I'm nearing desperation.
I want to do something I'm passionate about. I want to use my gifts and talents. I want something flexible so I can maintain my involvement with the youth ministry.
The major problem with all of this, though, is that there just aren't any job openings in Longview that make my heart sing. Employment opportunities in general are limited.
I feel so stuck.
So when do I let go of my dream job? When do I settle, just for the sake of working?
Do I take a job just to get paid, and do my best to do what I love on the side in the form of volunteering?
It's obvious God has provided for me in the past.
I know I know I know God's timing is perfect.
My ears continue to ring with
"What next?"
3 comments:
Oh friend, I can hear your heart so much in this post. That is a very tough place to be. God hears your heart too. I love you.
i hear there are jobs to be had in st louis....
you could work at the casino here.
i love love love the new blog look and i love love love reading so do keep writing when you have time! :)
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