Morgan & Me

This post has been in the works for quite some time as Morgan, "our" big, friendly black lab/retriever mix keeps giving me things to write about. I'm sure you're familiar with the movie "Marley & Me" by now...

#1: The Futon. Upon arriving home from our honeymoon, I was initially very excited to see Morgan. She had really missed us! I gave her some love until Paul said "umm... El.... Morgan has been on your futon." I looked over and the futon, which is normally a mossy green color, was covered (and I mean covered) in black dog hair. It was so bad, in fact, that when I removed the futon cover from the futon, her hair had gone through the cover to the mattress itself. "Welcome home," I muttered.

#2: The Lip Gloss. Then, there was the time where Paul and I opened all our wedding gifts. We left a giant stack of gifts in our living room because we weren't quite sure where to put everything. Someone gave me a very thoughtful "wife gift" full of goodies including some yummy lip gloss. Apparently Morgan though it was yummy, too, because I found her smacking her lips. She had punctured a hole in the tube and was enjoying it a little too much.

#3: The Taco: I was sitting on the couch eating a homemade soft taco, when Paul came home for lunch. I got up to let him in the front door, leaving half of the uneaten taco on my plate on the coffee table. I fixed Paul his lunch and returned to the coffee table to finish eating mine while he ate his. Well, my taco had disappeared, and Morgan was just sitting there, looking at me.

#4: The Cookie. I made some chocolate chip cookies with our new Kitchen Aid and set them on the coffee table for our guests while we watched "The Office." Everyone was gathered around, so Morgan didn't dare steal any. Well, as soon as the last guest got up and stood by the front door, Morgan made a stab for the plate of cookies and had just gotten one in her mouth when we caught her.

#5: The Gas. I am thankful scents do not travel through the internet because Morgan has terrible gas problems and I think you might pass out. I was telling my parents that Morgan has a gas issue, and they said "oh, our dog does too." But I said "Dad, we can actually hear it when Morgan toots." to which my dad replied: "oh. uhhh.... " Exactly.

When Paul gets home from work, he'll often giver her a good rub. Sometimes he squeezes her belly a little too hard and ppffffffffffffff - Morgan farts.... LOUDLY. Louder and longer than any human being I have experienced. (If you haven't ever read "Walter, the Farting Dog" you really need to look it up at Border's or your nearest bookstore. It's a legit book in the kids section.) I am wrinkling my nose right now because "it" just happened while I'm writing this. We have begun slipping Beano in her food and are hoping this will improve.

#6. The Breath. Morgan smells bad from both ends which is unfortunate considering she's a mouth breather. Tonight, we left Morgan in the car for an extended period of time while we were visiting some friends. When we got back in the car, it smelled like dog breath and had to roll down the windows even though it was cold. We bought her some doggie toothpaste called "Kissable" and some breath freshening tablets. We both agree that her breath has improved and Paul is the token tooth brusher.

#7. The Slobber. Sometimes, I'll look over at Morgan, and slobber will ooze out of her mouth and drop onto the floor. Tonight, she made her way into the front seat of the car while we were running an errand (buying her dog food, actually) and when I got in the driver's seat, and put my hands on the wheel, I immediately said "Ew. This is covered in slobber." Gross.

#8: Obeying. Morgan doesn't listen to me the way she listens to Paul. When I tell her it's time to go outside, she goes the opposite way and crawls under the table. Sometimes I take advantage of this when I want her to stop breathing in my face. Paul thinks it's mean; I think it's great that she stopped breathing on me.

I'm sure there will be a "Morgan & Me: Part 2" in the future, but that's all I can think of for now. She really is a nice dog and aside from her quirks, a great companion. At least she keeps us laughing, and she's stopped drinking out of the toilet!

Here are the 2 of us with "Stinky" in July 2008.